i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
