drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
