Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
