So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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