And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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