I smell stomach acid.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
