i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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