It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
