my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
