You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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