i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
