You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You're like the curious george of whores
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
