drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
