Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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