before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
