You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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