look no pants
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
