Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
