You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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