Are we in a gay sports bar?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
