We're facebook friends in real life
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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