just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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