alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
