i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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