Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
is that a dick in a sweater?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
