I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
