awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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