You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
