I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
