My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
