I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
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You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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