Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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