Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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