did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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