Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
