The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.