Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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