She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
