There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he thought i was a dude.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
