i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
