My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
