I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
How naked do you want me to be?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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