im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
