listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
