I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
