He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize