dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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