are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
