I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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