your room smells of hookers.
And success
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
