I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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