All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
