nut hugger
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize