I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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