i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
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Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
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I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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