The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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