Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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