She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
