$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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