i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
