Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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