oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
