i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
