That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize