Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
