He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
