Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
