thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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